The truth is..

Questions; I'm beginning to hate dislike them. Everywhere I go and whoever I talk too someone is asking me a question relating to A.J. leaving. Frankly I don't want to talk or think about him being gone. I know these questions are out of concern and curiosity; but, I want to hide all my emotions inside for no one to find.

We have been inseparable  for 4 long years (all through high school). I have always been able to rely on him for whatever the need. ( he would always fix it and still does). He has been my support through everything and I have always been his. 

Eat your hearts out all you question freaks, I am spilling my guts to you.

Truth is... I'm frustrated, tired, and already lonely. Despite A.J. physically being here he isn't himself mentally or emotionally he has become even more reserved and shows only one or two emotions throughout the day ( here lately its been angry/ impatient). I'm going to miss him like crazy because for the next 2 and 1/2 months I wont see his face or possibly hear his voice (communication is limited). I will be okay, I'm a strong, intelligent women that is very self motivated. I will keep myself busy between work, school, my blog, family, and friends. I'm frustrated mainly because I hate driving, sleeping alone, and cooking for just one (no one else in the house eats when we do). I haven't slept much because I've become stressed about the issue and it feels like the only things I do are answer questions, clean, and clean.

I hope that wasn't to blunt, I'm just ready for this all to be over and for him to be back.

- Kelsey

Practice makes PERFECT

I have a baking success story today! Caramel Brownie Bites are one of my favorite desserts, I've just never had enough courage to make them myself. You see I'm a little nervous in the kitchen, I like everything to be perfect so when I burn the Pork Chops, leave the lid off the blender, and over boil noodles I don't step foot in the kitchen for a few months. But, today the inner chef in me came out and they turned out AWESOME, EVERYONE loved them!

Here's the recipe below... Trust me you will love them!!

-Kelsey

Caramel Brownie Bites – Pillsbury Bake Off Finalist!

Ingredients

• 1 bag (14 oz) caramels, unwrapped
• 1/2 cup whipping cream
• 1 box Pillsbury® refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box
• 1/2 cup Fisher® Chef’s Naturals® Chopped Pecans, finely chopped
• 1 box (15.9 oz) Pillsbury® Chocolate Extreme Premium Brownie Mix
• 1/3 cup Crisco® Pure Canola Oil
• 3 tablespoons water
• 1 LAND O LAKES® Egg
• 2/3 cup Hershey's® semi-sweet chocolate baking chips
• 1 tablespoon light corn syrup

Instructions

1. In medium microwavable bowl, microwave caramels and 1/4 cup of the cream on High 2 to 3 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds, until melted and smooth. Cool 30 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, spray 36 mini muffin cups with Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray. Unroll pie crusts; roll each into 13-inch round. Using 2 1/2-inch round cookie cutter, cut 18 rounds from each crust, rerolling dough if necessary. Gently press each round on bottom and up side of muffin cup. Spoon scant 1/2 teaspoon pecans in bottom of each cup. Spoon about 1 teaspoon caramel mixture over pecans in each cup (cup will be 1/2 full); reserve remaining caramel mixture.
3. Heat oven to 350°F. In medium bowl, stir brownie mix (with syrup packet), oil, water and egg 50 strokes with spoon. Spoon 1 level tablespoon brownie batter into each cup.
4. Bake 18 to 24 minutes or until toothpick inserted into edge of brownie comes out clean. Cool in pans on cooling racks 10 minutes. Run knife around edges of cups to loosen; carefully remove from cups. Place on cooking racks. Cool completely, about 30 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, to make ganache glaze, in small microwavable bowl, microwave remaining 1/4 cup cream and chocolate chips on High 1 to 2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds, until melted and smooth. Stir in corn syrup until blended. Spoon ganache over each brownie. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or until ganache is set.
6. Microwave reserved caramel mixture on High 20 to 30 seconds if necessary for drizzling consistency. Drizzle each brownie with about 1/2 teaspoon caramel mixture. Store loosely covered in refrigerator.
7. Recipe fromPillsbury Bake Off Competition 2012

Copyright © YourHomeBasedMom

Unsettled

Today was just one of those days where you cant seem to get in the groove of anything. I couldn't keep my mind on one subject for the life of me. No matter what I did I was a subject jumper. I went from laundry to dishes and back again. So moral of the story I can't write much more than this tonight.

Sorry!

-Kelsey

This why I'm writing..

If you were to ask me what my favorite part of the day was I would say simply bedtime. Reason being I have him beside me. When the day is over and our work is done I get to lay next to the love of my life with our goofy dog beside. Sure, this is the time when only a few words are exchanged but we are together. We can give each other those silly looks that only the two of us can understand. But most importantly I get to sleep in his arms.

In 17 days my favorite part of the day will become my least favorite. I will still be laying in the same bed with our goofy dog beside, but the love of my life will be on his way to train. I have been trying to prepare myself for awhile by thinking things like "Kels this isn't a life or death situation he is just training not deploying" but I'm still worried and scared to sleep alone. 

This is my way of coping with him being gone, its for my sanity as well as my family's sanity. 

I must write this blog!

-Kelsey